Doug is a hoe bitchiest bitch

Anonymous : last year we repainted the whole inside of our house and I snuck into my brothers room before the second coat and painted an unwrapped condom onto the wall and yesterday I shit you not my mom leaned against his wall on the exact spot and the paint peeled a bit and the condom fell out and they're all trying to figure out how it got there

that’s truly amazing

ryanvallejo:

i can only hope a girl says this about me one day

ryanvallejo:

i can only hope a girl says this about me one day

jugglekingstone:

people who call skinny girls ‘disgusting’ thinking thats a good way to show they support larger bodies

image

snorlaxatives:

the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”

megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen


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